You've been broken, repaired, broken, repaired, broken, repaired, broken.. It's a cycle. And you're just feeling tired of it. When will you ever be repaired without being broken back?
Love- you used to talk about it a lot. You talked about how good it is, how scary and how hurtful it is. You always said you'd give up on love, but you always said you'd give it a shot once again...and again...and again. Risk - that's what love is all about. There is no certainty in everything. There is no definite happy ending...or is there?
You're confuse whether to give it all to have no regrets, or to just to save it all for yourself. "Love, but save something for yourself." I know. I know. But it seems impossible to save something for yourself when you love truly & faithfully, especially when you start to believe in him/her.
At the end of the day, you find yourself alone in your room, frozen in your bed, with your pillows wet with tears. And you feel it inside your chest. That crushing pain. The pain which no adjective could describe it's unique characteristic.
As the sun rises, you open your eyes with confusion... Was it true, or was it just a nightmare? You close your eyes again, wishing hard it was just a dream. But when you open you eyes back, you start to see the reality that you're broken. Then you start to feel that pain again. Comfort seems to be nowhere.
You go on like each day is a matter of nothingness. Your body's weak. Smile and laughters seem fake. Old people seem strangers. You're there but you're not. You're there but you don't feel them because all you feel is the pain. Everything seems worthless.
You just want the day to be over. But when the night falls, you look up the sky and all you see is darkness - no stars, no moon.