06 December 2007

reminiscing death

November 10, 2007              -           Saturday                     -           1:09pm








            I did not attend my technical writing class to watch a DVD movie, and I ended up crying. It was a Korean movie which title is "Windstruck". The lead character was a female cop whose boyfriend died due to a gunshot which she mistakenly thought came from her during a seizure of a jail-breaker. She went through a lot of pain and desperate suicidal attempts due to her depression.


            I’m very fragile when it comes to death; I don’t want to die and I don’t want any of my love ones to die. I’m scared of being left, and I don’t want to leave specially those who I love.


I experienced a death of a significant person once only, and it really gave me a hard time. It was the death of my beloved lolo daddy (my mom’s father). I was so young and I did not understand what happened to him. He was just with me in Manila when he was having his medical therapy in the Heart Center and we were still having fun; I already noticed that he was weak compared the last time I saw him, yet I did not know that he was already sick. After a few months my mother and father hurried back to Butuan but they did not tell me the reason; the real reason why my mom went back to Butuan was because my lolo was soon to die. One day, I was asked to go to Butuan together with my other aunts from Pampanga and USA. When I got home, I was surprised to see my lolo in the coffin. Although I did not understand what exactly happened, all I knew was that seeing a person inside a coffin means that that person is dead. I tried to be strong but I did not have the courage to see his coffin being buried in the cemetery. During my teenage years I always thought what my life would have been if my lolo was still alive, even until today.

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